TV Guide: My Wife and Kids

Listing: Jr.'s Cartoon

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:30:00 -0500

Wed Dec 9 01:30 PM ABCFAM Jr.'s cartoon, a thinly disguised version of “My Wife and Kids,” attracts the interest of ABC, so Jr.---and his agent Michael---visit the network for a negotiating session. Meanwhile, Claire threatens to break up with Tony (Andrew McFarlane) unless he can “bring some excitement” to their relationship. Fernando Torres: Carlos Gomez.

Listing: Celibacy

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:00:00 -0500

Wed Dec 9 01:00 PM ABCFAM Jay tells Michael that they'll only have sex “on a mental level” for six months because it will make their lovemaking more exciting when they resume. Michael is skeptical, to say the least. Meanwhile, Franklin and Kady symbolize their love with a plant, and Jr. complains to Michael that Vanessa wants too much loving. “She's a sex machine,” he tells his sex-starved dad.

Listing: Michael Joins a Gym

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 13:30:00 -0500

Tue Dec 8 01:30 PM ABCFAM Michael can't fit into an old pair of jeans, so he starts dieting and heads to a gym. He's not fun to be around. Nor is Franklin, who has flunked an astrophysics exam. Daryl: Terry Crews. Salesman: Casey Lee.

Listing: The Remodel

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 13:00:00 -0500

Tue Dec 8 01:00 PM ABCFAM Jay decides that it's time to remodel the garage to make it more comfortable for the baby, and Michael decides to do the work himself. “It's the Garage Mahal to me,” he says. Meanwhile, Kady wants to write Franklin a love letter but doesn't know what to say. Woody: Dom Irrera.

Listing: The Bahamas

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:00:00 -0500

Mon Dec 7 01:00 PM ABCFAM Part 1 of two: The Kyles are vacationing in the Bahamas and Michael just wants to relax by the pool. Not likely. For starters, an annoying acquaintance (David Alan Grier) shows up. Then Jr. and Vanessa fight because he wants to shirk his parental responsibilities. And Franklin's “archenemy,” Franceso Mumfordi, is on the island.

Listing: Silence Is Golden

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 13:30:00 -0500

Fri Dec 4 01:30 PM ABCFAM Jay and Michael spend a weekend at a meditation retreat, although Michael isn't exactly a willing participant. And when it's over, Jay gives him the silent treatment. Bodhi: T.J. Thyne. Nancy: Jennifer Elise Cox.

Listing: Sweetheart's Day

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 13:00:00 -0500

Fri Dec 4 01:00 PM ABCFAM It's "Sweetheart's Day" at the Kyle household. That means presents for the ladies (Jay insists on it). So Michael devises a plan to determine how much to spend. Of course, it gets him into trouble.

Listing: Study Buddy

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:30:00 -0500

Thu Dec 3 01:30 PM ABCFAM Jay's psychology professor (David Leisure) doesn't like her. Bad news, considering that the final's coming up. Also bad news is Michael's determination to be her “study buddy.” Meanwhile, Kady fears that Franklin's interested in another girl, a fellow brainiac named Emerson (after Ralph Waldo). Emerson: Jillian Henry.

Listing: They Call Me El Foosay

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:00:00 -0500

Thu Dec 3 01:00 PM ABCFAM Jr. turns Michael on to foosball and no one can turn him off---and an extremely annoying “foosaholic” Michael turns out to be. Who can stop him? “El Foosay” (Franklin), a recovering foosaholic himself. Franklin: Noah Gray-Cabey. Calvin: Rasta.

Listing: Careful What You Wish For

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 13:30:00 -0500

Wed Dec 2 01:30 PM ABCFAM Jay notices the attention Jr. is lavishing on Vanessa and decides that Michael's ignoring her. Meanwhile, Franklin decides he's too short, when he can't meet a roller coaster's height requirement.

Listing: The Wedding

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 13:00:00 -0500

Wed Dec 2 01:00 PM ABCFAM Jr. and Vanessa set a date for their wedding, with the Kyles planning an elaborate one that might have made a royal couple blanch. This does not please the bride-to-be (Brooklyn Sudano). Meanwhile, Kady's gaydar tells her something about Claire's boyfriend, Tony (Andrew McFarlane).

Listing: The Return of Bobby Shaw

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:30:00 -0500

Tue Dec 1 01:30 PM ABCFAM Jr. wants to be a rapper, so he enrolls in a “rapcademy” that Michael eyes suspiciously. MC Lyte. Flavor Flav, Kool Moe D and Special Ed guest star. Meanwhile, Jay talks Claire into going to her yoga class. She'll regret it. Bobby Shaw: Katt Williams. Rama: Terrell Tilford.

Listing: Restaurant Wars

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:00:00 -0500

Tue Dec 1 01:00 PM ABCFAM Jay opens a soul-food restaurant on the same block as a Chinese restaurant owned by the very aggressive Annie Hoo (Lauren Tom). A food fight soon breaks out. Eddie: Peter Kwong. Calvin: Rasta.

Listing: The Proposal

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:30:00 -0500

Mon Nov 30 01:30 PM ABCFAM Kyle-on-Kyle karaoke: Jay's Diana Ross vs. Michael's James Brown. Meanwhile, Jr. wants to propose to Vanessa (Brooklyn Sudano), but he can't get a chance to do it.

Listing: Poker Face

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0500

Mon Nov 30 01:00 PM ABCFAM Jr. invites Jay to Michael's weekly poker game. The other guys don't like it. Meanwhile, Kady's beginning to resent Jr. Jr. for taking the “baby” spotlight away from her. Angeline Boudreaux: Rolonda Watts.

Listing: The Fellowship of the Baby

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:30:00 -0500

Sat Nov 28 12:30 AM ABCFAM All of a sudden, Jr. becomes really smart. All he has to do is touch his newborn son. Meanwhile, Kady catches Claire sneaking in late and blackmails her. Vanessa: Brooklyn Sudano. Franklin: Noah Gray-Cabey.

Listing: Class Reunion

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Sat Nov 28 12:00 AM ABCFAM Michael and Jay's high-school reunion is coming up, but Michael wants none of it. Then he's challenged to a “dance-off” by an old break-dancing rival (Katt Williams), who also happens to be the first guy ever to have kissed Jay. Meanwhile, bullies target Franklin, so he devises a secret weapon. Calvin: Rasta. Sharon: Susie Castillo. Toni: Dot Marie Jones.

Listing: Child-Care Class

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:30:00 -0500

Fri Nov 27 12:30 AM ABCFAM Jr. and Vanessa (Brooklyn Sudano) insist that Michael and Jay attend a child-care class for grandparents. Not surprisingly, it doesn't go well for Michael, who gets into a diaper-changing contest with Calvin (Rasta). Jasmine: Ella Joyce. Mrs. Lane: Kim Coles.

Listing: Fantasy Camp

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Fri Nov 27 12:00 AM ABCFAM Michael goes one-on-one with Michael Jordan in the conclusion of a two-part visit to Las Vegas. Rev. Al Sharpton also has a cameo as a minister at an all-night wedding chapel; Alan Thicke plays a magician who makes Jr. disappear (but can't bring him back); and Dom Irrera plays a hotel waiter whom Michael tips (exorbitantly) to show him Jordan's suite.