TV Guide: Roseanne Barr

Morning Becomes Obnoxious

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:00:00 -0500

Sat Nov 14 05:00 AM NIK Roseanne's "opinionated, blue-collar outlook" lands her a gig as a commentator on a TV talk show. Cindy: Challen Cates. Joe: Jeffrey Nordling. Don: Jerry Dunphy. Leon: Martin Mull. Bev: Estelle Parsons.

Another Mouth to Shut Up

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:30:00 -0500

Sat Nov 14 04:30 AM NIK Darlene drops a proposal---and a surprise announcement---on David, whose major life changes seem to be happening all in one day. David: Johnny Galecki. Roseanne: Roseanne. Dan: John Goodman. Jackie: Laurie Metcalf.

Springtime for David

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0500

Sat Nov 14 04:00 AM NIK David gets a job at a theme park---where he's transformed into a perky worker with an eerie smile. Doug: Sean O'Bryan. Mr. Schlosser: James LeGros. Helga: J. Robin Miller.

Kansas City, Here We Come

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:30:00 -0500

Sat Nov 14 01:30 AM TVLAND Roseanne and Jackie pay a visit to their dad's "other woman" in Kansas City; Dan finds new respect for Mark after he physically confronts Becky's new boss (Joshua Rifkind). Jackie: Laurie Metcalf.

Tolerate Thy Neighbor

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:00:00 -0500

Sat Nov 14 01:00 AM TVLAND Roseanne's in hot water with neighbor Kathy (Meagen Fay), and at work she can't help but meddle in Leon's tiff with his lover (Michael Des Barres). Jerry: Danton Stone. Gil: Carl Franklin. Leon: Martin Mull.

The Pied Piper of Lanford

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:30:00 -0500

Sat Nov 14 12:30 AM TVLAND The Conners' pal Ziggy (Jay O. Sanders) blows into town to romance Jackie and to talk Dan into buying a motorcycle shop with him. Doug: Brad Garrett. Jackie: Laurie Metcalf. Dan: John Goodman. Darlene: Sara Gilbert.

Valentine's Day

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Sat Nov 14 12:00 AM TVLAND Valentine's Day has Dan shopping for full-figure lingerie, and Darlene getting unwanted help in snaring a new boyfriend (Tristan Tait). Bonnie: Bonnie Sheridan. Jennifer: Gracie Harrison. Amy: Judy Gold. Jeff: Tobey Maguire.

The Wedding

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 23:30:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 11:30 PM TVLAND Darlene's wedding day proves an occasion for Dan to have an urgent heart-to-heart with his daughter. Darlene: Sara Gilbert. David: Johnny Galecki. Dan: John Goodman. Nana Mary: Shelley Winters. Scott: Fred Willard. Bev: Estelle Parsons.

The Courtship of Eddie, Dan's Father

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 23:00:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 11:00 PM TVLAND Dan's dad (Ned Beatty) visits; Roseanne plays matchmaker for a customer (Stephen Wesley Bridgewater) and Crystal. Part 1 of two. Crystal: Natalie West. Dan: John Goodman. Roseanne: Roseanne Arnold.

Made a Lady Think I Was God

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:30:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 07:30 PM TBS Earl offers to persuade Millie Banks (Roseanne Barr), the miserable woman who used to manage the trailer park, to lift a restraining order against Joy. At the same time, he seeks Millie's forgiveness for No. 12 on his list: “Made a lady think I was God.”

Construction Junction

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:30:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 05:30 AM NIK Dan weighs the options of giving up his boring garage job for a construction project with his pals (James Pickens Jr., John McConnell). Meanwhile, Jackie (Laurie Metcalf) surfs the Internet---and becomes addicted.

Out of the Past

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:00:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 05:00 AM NIK Nana Mary (Shelley Winters) amuses Roseanne and Jackie with a box of their childhood treasures; Bev regales Becky and Darlene with colorful stories about their mother; and Dan and his pals play poker with Leon and Scott.

Becky Howser, MD

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:30:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 04:30 AM NIK Becky (Lecy Goranson) is down in the dumps about her life, but Mark doesn't share his wife's eagerness for making changes. Mr. Parkin: Stan Freberg. David: Johnny Galecki. Darlene: Sara Gilbert.

White Sheep of the Family

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:00:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 04:00 AM NIK Darlene (Sara Gilbert) turns down a lucrative job offer that would pay her more than both her parents earn. Mr. Parkin: Stan Freberg. Becky: Lecy Goranson. Mark: Glenn Quinn. David: Johnny Galecki. D.J.: Michael Fishman. Dan: John Goodman.

Thrilla Near Vanilla

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:30:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 03:30 AM NIK Roseanne and Jackie's stint offering samples at a market ends in a food fight when Jackie outsells her sister; and David comes to a decision after an argument with Dan. Mr. Parkin: Stan Freberg. David: Johnny Galecki. Jackie: Laurie Metcalf. Dan: John Goodman. Roseanne: Roseanne.

December Bride

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:00:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 03:00 AM NIK Roseanne has anything but traditional ideas for Leon's untraditional wedding---to Scott (Fred Willard). Cameos by Milton Berle and Mariel Hemingway. Mrs. Carp: June Lockhart. Rev. Crosley: Norm Crosby. Leon: Martin Mull.

Direct to Video

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:30:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 02:30 AM NIK As the family gathers to make a video for the new baby, Becky and Darlene make a surprising discovery: their parents' old love letters. Becky: Lecy Goranson. Darlene: Sara Gilbert. D.J.: Michael Fishman.

Of Mice and Dan

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:00:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 02:00 AM NIK With his old band mate (John Popper) in town, Dan's got the blues, regretting that he gave up his youthful dreams to settle down with Roseanne. John Goodman, who plays Dan, also sings. Bob: John McConnell. The Band: Chris Kinchla, Brendan Hill, Bob Sheehan.

April Fool's Day

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:30:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 12:30 AM TVLAND On April 15, Dan and Roseanne offer the kids a frantic lesson in family accounting, and visit the local IRS. Roseanne: Roseanne Arnold. Dan: John Goodman. Darlene: Sara Gilbert. Becky: Lecy Goranson. D.J.: Micheal Fishman.

Toto, We're Not in Kansas Anymore

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0500

Fri Nov 13 12:00 AM TVLAND As a tornado spins through Lanford, a storm is brewing inside the Conner house over the whereabouts of Jackie, who hasn't returned from her trip to the market. Roseanne Arnold, John Goodman.

Bird Is the Word

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:00:00 -0500

Thu Nov 12 11:00 PM TVLAND Becky gains popularity at school after flashing a defiant hand gesture, but it's mom who's called to meet with the principal (Dann Florek). Anne Marie: Adilah Barnes. Secretary: Judith Jordan. Becky: Lecy Goranson.

Friends and Relatives

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:30:00 -0500

Thu Nov 12 10:30 PM TVLAND Lending money to pal Arnie (Tom Arnold) comes easily for Dan, but he believes that borrowing from family only adds up to disaster. Dan: John Goodman. Jackie: Laurie Metcalf. Becky: Lecy Goranson. Darlene: Sara Gilbert.

Happy Birthday

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:00:00 -0500

Thu Nov 12 10:00 PM TVLAND Roseanne finally has a place to write when Dan builds her an office for her birthday---but she's stricken with a case of writer's block. Roseanne Arnold, John Goodman. Jackie: Laurie Metcalf.