TV Guide: Online Video Guide Onion News Network

/shows/onion-review/: Every Glass In Grandmother’s Cupboard Visibly Filthy

Sat, 18 May 2013 06:49:24 -0400

Sasha Obama becomes suspicious after doing a little digging around on Benghazi, this has to be the year a local miniature golf course goes out of business, and a dude with a knit hat at a party calls beer 'libations.' It's the week of May 17, 2013

/shows/onion-special-report/: Sponsored Content Pretty Fucking Awesome

Sat, 18 May 2013 06:49:24 -0400

Media consumers across the United States are reporting this week that sponsored content articles and videos paid for by advertisers and distributed by print and digital publications is easily the coolest ... Full Report

/shows/onion-review/: Possum Gazes Longingly At Family Walking Dog

Sat, 11 May 2013 05:48:59 -0400

A heartbroken Chris Brown always thought Rihanna was the woman he'd beat to death, a mentally unstable man is planning on exhibiting one or two more warning signs before finally doing this, and a snooze button time travler sets his coordinates for 5-minut...

/shows/onion-special-report/: Mentally Unstable Man To Exhibit 1 Or 2 More Warning Signs Before Finally Doing This

Fri, 10 May 2013 04:49:06 -0400

Local mentally ill man Michael Redding, 26, announced his intention Thursday to display one or two further instances of troubling behavior before finally going ahead and carrying out what he has planned.

/shows/onion-special-report/: Malicious Focus Group Convinces Marketers Cinnamon Mountain Dew Is The Next Big Thing

Thu, 09 May 2013 04:49:19 -0400

Following the saboteur antics of a prankster focus group that reportedly convinced company officials the drink was not only palatable but delicious, PepsiCo announced Thursday the launch of its new Mountain Dew CinnaBlast beverage.

/shows/onion-review/: Seedless Watermelon Coming To Grips With Fact It’ll Never Be Able To Have Kids

Sun, 05 May 2013 04:49:25 -0400

UMass Dartmouth is beginning to regret offering a course in Applied Domestic Terrorism, a social media rockstar makes $28,000 a year, and Miami Dolphins wide receiver Mike Wallace comes out as a stupid asshole.

/shows/onion-special-report/: Social Media Rock Star Makes $28,000 Per Year

Sat, 04 May 2013 04:49:11 -0400

Widely regarded as one of the online world s brightest personalities, sources confirmed Friday that famed 28-year-old social media rock star Ryan Wasserman, better known as @RWthinks by his legions of passionate fans, makes roughly $28,000 per year.

/shows/onion-special-report/: Government-Issued PSA Urging Teens To Fuck Their Brains Out

Fri, 03 May 2013 04:49:20 -0400

The above is a 2008 PSA issued by the Department of Health and Human Services in support of the Fuck Your Brains Out sex education program.

/shows/onion-review/: Middle-Aged Funeral Director Buys Flashy Red Hearse

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 04:49:16 -0400

A study finds that wolf attacks are still the leading cause of death in America, a man says 'fuck it' and eats lunch and 10:58 a.m., and Dzhokar Tsarnaev posts bail.

/shows/onion-special-report/: Man Says 'Fuck It,' Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M.

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 05:19:13 -0400

Reasoning that he s a grown adult who can eat food whenever he damn well pleases, local man Kyle Dunedin, 30, reportedly decided at 10:58 a.m.

/shows/promo/: 'The Cressbeckler Stance' -- Coming Soon To The Onion News Network